The past few days I bounce between feeling at peace and feeling incredibly uncomfortable. I have been between highs and lows, feeling depressed and feeling elated. At first I was concerned wondering what could possibly be wrong with me? Why am I so fraught with anxiety? Then the answer came to me in the form of a very cliche and over-used Pinterest quote: “Life begins outside of your comfort zone”.
It is not by any means a comfortable situation at all to detox from alcohol or start the steps (again) towards recovery. Everything you know and THINK you love (alcohol) is being taken away from you. You are forced in the steps to address a lot of shit that is hard to do. Admit you have no power and when you do figure that part out you are told you must surrender yourself to your higher power since you have none yourself. No one wants to feel out of control of their life. But the moment you give up “control” you gain power in the form of sobriety. At first, this is not comfortable. I have never successfully gotten past the point where it becomes completely comfortable, but I know if I stick to the program my day will come where I will be glad I powered through some discomfort for a truly peaceful life.
I am also working on paving the way for my new career. After working in the same office and same job for 10 years, its exciting and scary to be taking this new leap into real estate. The exam is hovering over my head and I want so badly to do well and choose a good brokerage. I just need to take some deep breaths and remind myself that I am not in control of this life. All I can do is have faith, be kind, do my best and let the universe and God work its magic.