Today we are booking our flight and hotel in Iowa for next month! I have excitement but also some anxiety. First I guess I should explain why of all places, we would go to Iowa and a little about us.
My boyfriend is (a bit) older than I am and has children. I have always been a very strong advocate of women choosing to live their life for themselves if they want to. So at this point in my life I have no children. I have gotten the standard “what kind of woman are you??? You don’t get baby fever?” No. I get to sleep in on Saturday and buy $40 mascara and jet off to NYC when I feel like it. How bout dah? I have a fabulous aunt who gets to walk the red carpet, has a talk show in Minnesota and a firefighter husband….and no biological children of her own (but has step kids). Do you think she is losing sleep over never having children? One of my idols, Stevie Nicks, also chose to live her life for her music and her passions over being a wife and mother. Perhaps one day I will choose to have kids, but if I don’t my life wasn’t a waste. I realize this is a foreign concept to a lot of people and society, but just because women have reproductive parts, it *GASP* does NOT mean they have to be used.
All that being said, I personally love kids! I have strong maternal instincts and get along great with kids of all ages because I am a big kid at heart. Just throwing that in so you don’t think if you hand me your baby I am going to punt it or something.
The reason we are going to Iowa is to visit his children and his grand baby who is an absolute doll. I am so happy and thrilled he get this opportunity and honored he would have me come with him but I am also anxious. This is the first experience in my life meeting a significant other’s children (and grand child). I keep telling myself to just be myself and emit that positive energy I keep with me at all times and things will go smoothly and it will be a great time. Then the worrier in me is like “Yeah but wait. What if you are seen as one of those shitty, young, bimbo, step mom wanna be’s like on Lifetime?” Gag.
As a child that grew up with multiple step parents, I know that struggle. I know it was hard for them and I know it was hard for me. I realize this late in the game I have no actual step parent type duties and am simply “dad’s girlfriend”. These thoughts are completely out of fear of being rejected by something so important to my boyfriend. His happiness just means so much to me and I would love for this trip to be a great success.
So despite my inexperience with kids and this situation I am going to focus on supporting my boyfriend, enjoying myself and figuring out WTF there is to do in Iowa.