So although I am new (again) to the sobriety thing I can already see small but positive changes in my life. It’s these little stepping stones that will guide me to the big victories.
For example: I have been talking to a lovely girl I met through my S/O’s NA group. I invited her to a meeting in Seattle this weekend, not really expecting her to say yes because that is the norm for people I had been surrounding myself with. Flakiness, backing out, etc. But she instantly said yes! Sober people are so down to support you and help keep you lifted up without skipping a beat. Then today. I did my Starbucks routine: Grande cold brew with cream and 2 stevias and a trenta ice water. For the first time in a long time I picked up the coffee first and sipped it. Before, I would literally drink a whole trenta ice water before I got to work because I was so dehydrated and couldn’t stomach coffee until I drank water. I wasn’t even consciously choosing the coffee over the water this morning but when I put it down I realized what had happened. To some this is such a minuscule thing to even notice but to me it was a mark of waking up refreshed and NOT dying of thirst and nausea. It is also a mark of being entirely present in the moment. There were days where I don’t even barely remember driving to work because I was so exhausted and felt so shitty. Today I went into work an hour early and drank my coffee first. Small, but real victories.
Today is my graduation ceremony and it feels odd but liberating to not be celebrating with a fifth of vodka. It also feels weird to be having company tomorrow and not serve alcohol. I jokingly asked my friend “what do you do at a party if you don’t drink? Communicate like normal humans? Unclear.” Although I was joking, I’m not….lol. What DO you do?? I have to re-learn how to socialize without drinking. That concept might come easy to others but my whole adult life alcohol has always been the life of the party. I guess we will just have to see what tomorrow brings. Since I am supposed to be taking it one day at a time I will put tomorrow on the shelf and embrace whatever comes then.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and if anyone on here is graduating also, CONGRATS!