I had a brief hiatus from blogging yesterday because it became apparent a person from my past that I do NOT want to have anything to do with found their wandering eyes on here. But after a lot of words of encouragement and feedback, I decided the pros outweigh the cons.
I announced it on my Instagram, so I will announce it here as well. This weekend I am getting certified as a level 1 reiki healer! My dear friend Megan who is made of all the same stuff as me is going to join me at my yoga studio and then she is going to do a reiki session on me and certify me! How awesome does that sound! My Chakras should be glowing by the time Saturday comes and goes!
So enough about me. I want to get further into the topic of self care. Self care goes above and beyond putting face masks on and keeping up on your hair trims. It even goes beyond eating your veggies and doing your squats. Real self care should also include being 100% true to yourself and without apologies. It means handling yourself with care when you speak to yourself. I used to be the queen of negative self talk. “You are so fat. Why didn’t you study harder for that test? What is the matter with you? Why can’t you just get it together? You look like shit.” I kid you NOT. I used to talk to myself like this all day long, and then I wondered why I had insecurities! This is abuse. You wouldn’t tolerate a lover or a friend to say those things about you, so why would you say those things to yourself and allow it? Loving yourself should not be confused with conceit because they are not one and the same. We need to work on how we speak to ourselves to start to love ourselves. A person who is in love with themselves would say “I gained a few pounds but I am still beautiful and I will just put more effort into my fitness.” And then, they will follow through because they want to be the best version of themselves for themselves. Not to appease society or a man (or woman), but for their own well being.
Another characteristic of a person who loves who they are realizes that we have one life to live, one instrument (our body) to carry out this life in it’s physical form, one mind to sift through it, and one heart to love it. When you love yourself you nourish those parts of you. You do yoga, hike, or workout to love your instrument. You read books and have conversations that stimulate you to fuel your mind, and you keep your heart open even if it’s been hurt.
You might love yourself also if you embrace all the parts of you that make you who you are. Without apologies I love classical music, read books, meditate, wear leggings most days, watch the Golden Girls, eat carbs, don’t always fold the laundry right away, clump my hair on the shower wall, get straight A’s in school, let my finger nail polish chip, still have my Christmas lights up, talk to my cats, and many many other things. Loving yourself doesn’t mean ignoring the parts of you that could use some improvement and only focusing on the good inside of you. There is a balance between self acceptance and self improvement. You owe it to yourself to be honest with yourself during self-talk and part of that honesty means addressing the areas of your life that have room for improvement, and praising yourself for the areas you are excelling at.
If you have never done it, I recommend making a list of affirmations for yourself to start each day. I never thought to do this until my boyfriend broke up with me. He kissed me on the forehead before he left and told me “I want you to look at yourself every day and tell yourself how wonderful you are, because you are.” So I did, and I have every day since.
In a little under a month since my world was turned upside down I fell madly in love with me. It started out with telling myself I was wonderful. Then it turned into doing little nice things for myself. I started buying myself flowers, and taking long bubble baths and talking kindly to myself every day. If a negative thought crept in, I redirected it. I reflect on the insecurities I had even just a month ago, and I cannot believe those things phased me. Growth and self love is a beautiful and wonderful journey.
I implore you to get to know you. Fall in love with yourself every single day and the Universe will follow suit.